Reunion
by Doyle-fan-forever
Summary: After the final battle Angel gets a change to save all his friends. But a problem comes up, Doyle's been gone for a while and he might have trouble adjusting. Will he be able to get though it? My verison of what happened after the final. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Reunion

Rating: Any where from PG to PG-13 or whatever the TV series would be rated

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, nothing but the story

Authors Notes: I've been watching reruns of TNT so I don't know how Cordelia died; I assumed it was in a hospital because I heard she died when in a coma. I missed the episode when Doyle died so I don't know exactly what happened.

Authors Notes: Please review!

Chapter 1

"Where's Gunn?"

"He didn't make it."

Angel bowed his head in memory of his fallen friend.

"Guess it's just you and me then." Spike pointed out.

"Illyria didn't make it either?" Angel asked.

"No."

Angel wasn't grieved by the news, after all Illyria had killed Fred. "So it really is just us." Neither of them said anything, they were the only two to make it out of the battle, and, now that all their friends were dead, the only two who wished they hadn't.

"So what now?" Spike asked, finally breaking the silence.

Angel looked at the blond vampire, noticing his look of complete loss. "I guess we go back to the office and pick up from there."

"Won't they be expecting that?"

"I don't know, but I can't think of anywhere else that would be safe."

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"I know you said we should pick of from here, but… there's really nothing to pick up. This place is completely destroyed." Spike said looking around at the remains of Wolfram & Hart.

"There has to be a few things we can save." Angel said pulling open the door of his office. Spike looked at him and couldn't believe a vamp, stupid enough to think that anything worth saving would be left, could survive this long.

After searching fruitlessly for a few minutes they heard a familiar voice from the doorway. "Wow… I guess I got here a little late." Spike and Angel turned around to see a familiar red head witch standing in the doorway.

"More than a little," Angel said, not being able to suppress the smile on his lips as he looked at his old friend.

"Sorry, hard to get messages quick when you're on a different continent. And oh yeah, what happened her

Angel explained everything, while Spike continued to search Angel's office at of sheer boredom. "Wow," Willow said when Angel had finished, "I'm real sorry that I couldn't get here sooner." Willow said.

"It's ok," that was all Angel could say. Telling the story of what had happened in the pass month was like losing his friends all over again.

"Angel, I think there's a way I could help." Willow said suddenly, a mischievous look on her face.

"How?"

"I could talk to the powers." She stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And how in bloody hell could you do that?" this time it was Spike who spoke; apparently he had been listening in the whole time. Angel jumped a little when he spoke. Spike was normally loud, but when Angel was talking he had been unusually quiet, Angel had almost forgot he was there.

"Well am I not a Wicca or what?"

"I don't know Willow," Angel said hesitantly. "They weren't to cooperative when Doyle died…" He stopped short, another memory of all the pain and death that followed him.

"The Irish guy?" Spike asked. Angel could only nod. Willow put a comforting arm on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Angel, I'll make them listen." She said.

Hoped swelled in Angel's chest. "You really think you could do it?"

"Of course and I'll get right on it."

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Willow was sitting Indian style on what remained of Angel's desk, a blank look on her face. She had decided to contact the Powers spiritually. Angel was sitting on a wood block in front of her, waiting as patiently as he could. Spike came up behind him.

"I don't know Angel… she's been sitting there for three hours." He said.

Angel jumped a little when Spike spoke, again almost forgetting he was there, and then grunted in reply. But Spike wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Angel, don't get your hopes up, this might not work."

"I know."

"I mean you want to bring five people back from the dead."

"I know." Angel replied, getting a little annoyed. He had made sure Willow had added Doyle to the list before she went to talk to the Powers. Suddenly Willow stirred, the blank look gone from her face. Angel walked over and handed her a glass of water he had waiting for her. Handing her the glass he waited for her to talk, not taking his eyes off her. When she still hadn't spoken for several minutes Angel got impatient. "Well…" he demanded of her. Willow sighed and put down the glass.

"They'll do it. Bring everyone back in the order they died, starting with Gunn ending with Doyle. In the spot they died."

Angel smiled, Spike let out a whoop.

"But…" Willow said, interrupting their celebration. " You both have to give up becoming human."

Angel's smile faded, Spike was in shock.

"Uh…what!" he managed to get out. "Bloody…"

"I've already given it up." Angel said before Spike could finish. "But Spike shouldn't have to give it up too. These are my friends, the Powers should under stand that."

"I'll do it." Spike said.

Angel and Willow turned to look at Spike.

"Spike, you…" Angel tried but Spike was already shaking his head.

"These people deserve life more than I do. They died protecting this world; I've just caused destruction. Let them have a little more time to do good."

After a few moments of silence Willow asked, "Is that the final decision?"

Spike nodded and Angel, after glancing at Spike, did the same.

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"You know what I just thought of?" Spike said trying to make conversation.

Angel grunted, he had almost been asleep. At Spike's words he sat up straight. They were in the alley where the final battle had happened, always on guard, waiting for Gunn. "What? _You_ thought of sometime? That's got to be the first time in a hundred years, right?" Angel said sarcastically. Spike shot him a cold look, which Angel chose to ignore.

"Illyria." He said

"What about her?" Angel said grumpily.

"Is she gonna come back then die when Fred come back?"

"_Nothing more than she deserves, really."_ Angel thought, but out loud he said, "No, Willow sorted all that out with the Powers, she's not coming back."

"Willow told you that huh?" Spike asked rather coldly.

"Um yeah, why?" Angel replied.

"Planning on telling me this any time soon?"

Angel pretended to think really hard about the answer. "No, thought you'd figure it out sooner or later. I also think you're on a need to know bases."

Just as Spike was about to respond, there was a blinding white light flashing across the sky, like lighting. Angel and Spike put their hands up, to block out the light, just as it hit the pavement a yard or two away from them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Angel and Spike slowly lowered their hands and looked where the lighting had struck. There was man slowly getting to his feet, he was tall, with a shaven head, young too. His jeans and T-shirt was ripped and torn where he had been injured before, but the injuries were completely healed.

"Gunn?" Angel took a small, careful step forward. He remembered what he'd been like after coming back from hell, hungry for blood. But then again, there was no telling if Gunn had come from hell, and he wasn't a vampire.

"What's going on man?" Gun said looking around.

"We'll explain on the way, we need to get to where Wesley's going to come back. Just incase he's coming right away after."

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"So basically we all died and now the Powers are bring us back one by one." Gunn said. It wasn't a question, it had taken Wesley two hours to come back and Spike and Angel had filled him in then. He was helping them explain everything to Wesley.

The brown haired man sat there shaking his head, utterly speechless. "All of us?" he managed to say, "We're all coming back."

"Yep right down to the Irish bloke, what's his name again?" Spike said looking at Angel.

"Doyle."

"Right Doyle…"

Spike kept talking but Angle blocked him out. He smiled, Doyle… Angel could hear him, making a joke, brightening up the place. Him and Cordeila would be fighting, like always. Angel didn't miss the fighting as much, not that the fighting meant they didn't like each other. No it was more like friendly debating. He hadn't gotten a break from it; Wesley and Cordelia had fought a lot a first too. Only difference was that Wesley didn't let Cordelia win like Doyle did.

Wesley wasn't listening to the conversation either, he was thinking of Fred. Thinking of all the things they could do now that they never got to do before.

After day dreaming for a bit about her he suggested that they head over to her place. "It's almost been two hours after I've come back," he said. They were hoping that there was a pattern between each person.

"Ok," Angel said, a smile on his face, "let's go."

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Fours hours later they were sitting in Angel's office, they now had the two girls, Fred and Cordelia, with them. They both had been filled in, Fred was now sitting in Wesley's lap, the two of them cuddling together. Cordelia was sitting on what remand of a chair think about Doyle. You could see the excitement on her face. But every once in a while she would shoot cold looks in Spike's direction. Seeing him after she came back was a big surprise, she didn't know he had a soul and had screamed. A nurse (they were in the hospital were Cordelia had died) came rushing in and only everyone but Cordelia and Spike had been able to find a hiding spot quick enough. To Cordelia's disgust the only excuse Spike could find was that their friend was having a baby and they couldn't wait to have one themselves.

"Hey everyone." Cordelia looked up to see Willow standing in the doorway. "Thought I'd come and make sure everything's ok."

"Willow!" Cordelia said, "Hey how are you."

"Hi Cor, I'm fine…" Suddenly she stopped, a blank looked appeared on her face.

"Um…Willow?"

Angel went over to her. "Are you ok?"

"Greeting's champion." She said, her voice sounding different and Angel was sure he had heard it somewhere before.

"Huh? Willow are you ok?" Angel had a mixed look of concern and confusion. When Willow didn't respond he asked "the Powers?" she nodded her head.

"We have contacted you to warn you. The messenger has been gone too long."

"You mean Doyle."

The Powers nodded. "The outcome of bringing him make is uncertain. He will be confused, thinking he is in…"

Angel looked at the Powers, "Is he in Heaven or hell?"

"That is not for us to tell you, if the messenger wishes to tell you then that is his choice his alone. He will still think he is where he is now, not understanding he is back on earth."

"We'll help him."

"Will you? It will be hard to make him understand, so much has changed. He will retreat into his memories, any thing that is familiar."

"We'll make sure, _I'll_ make sure, he's ok."

"If that is your final decision…"

With one glance at Cordelia, in which she nodded, he said, "It is."

"Very well, the messenger will come back in 24 hours." Then they were gone, Willow's blank look disappeared.

"Whoa…" she said putting her arm on Angel shoulders to steady herself.

"You ok?" he asked, she nodded. Angle turned at the rest of the group; they were staring in him in complete silence. Cordelia had her head bent down, a single tear slid down her check, and a small sob escaped her lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

With 24 hours to spare until Doyle came back the gang decided to get some rest (after all it was 1:00 in the morning, the same time Doyle would come back.) When they woke they decided to clean up the office, thinking that it would take up most of the time. After a while, though, Willow remembered a handing spell that sped up the process considerately. By lunch the whole building was it's sparkly, clean self. After lunch, with nothing else to do, they just sat around.

Cordelia couldn't take it; she couldn't just sit around, not when Doyle was coming back in less then 24 hours. Angel was off talking to Willow somewhere so she decided to give herself a tour of the building. When she came back she saw that Gunn had gone and bought a newspaper.

"Hey, Cordy, you'll never believe this." Gunn said when he saw her come in. "Your apartment is still for sale."

Cordelia smiled. "Phantom Dennis's doing probably."

"Yeah I was think about that, Doyle found the place for you didn't he?"

"Yes…"

"Well that pretty much the only familiar thing that he's gonna be able to go to." When Cordelia only raised her eyebrows, he continued. "He's apartment will probably be sold and the office we were at when he was alive is blown up."

"Of course," Wesley put in, "The apartment's the only thing that he would be able to go to that's familiar, but you'd have to buy it again."

Cordelia smiled again. "Of course I'll buy it, lets get going."

"Going where?" Angel had come back with Willow.

"Cordelia's old apartment's for sale, we thought that if she bought it then that's where we could take Doyle." Fred explained.

Angel nodded. "You guys go on and do that. Its daylight so I can't go right now and where's Spike?"

"I think he's in your office sleeping on the table or something." Gunn said.

"You guys really sure he's good?" Cordelia asked. She did not like Spike, he was part of the reason Xander hurt her so bad back in high school.

"He's fine Cordy." Angel said for the millionth time, and then went off to find Spike followed by Willow.

"Wonder what they're up to." Fred said. Everyone shrugged and they left to go to Cordelia's apartment.

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Some hours later everyone was in Cordelia's apartment wait for the time when they had to go get Doyle. Dennis was very very happy to see everyone again; he kept going around give everyone hugs. It's kinda strange to be given a hug by a ghost, since you can't see them. He even gave Spike a hug, though he didn't know him, but after a few times Spike yelled at him so he stopped.

"I think only Cordy and I should go get Doyle." Angel said after a while. "It might be too much for him to meet all of you right after he comes back. We'll bring him make here a lead him straight to the spare bedroom, you can meet him in the morning."

Everyone nodded in agreement. After a few minutes Cordelia and Angel got up and left.

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It was cold at the docks where Doyle would come back at. Cordelia wrapped her arms around herself, not taking her eyes away from the spot where years ago she had seen Doyle die for her and the world. Angel stood behind her barely moving.

Suddenly standing barely 5 feet from them was a women, she seemed to be glowing. "Do you still wish to bring the messenger back?" she asked.

Angel and Cordelia looked at each other before Angel said yes.

"Very well, take him, heal him." And then she was gone, a flash of light in her place hitting the ground where Doyle had died.

Angel and Cordelia looked at each other before going to the spot. Doyle was standing up on shaky legs.

"Doyle?" Cordelia said barely above a whisper. He looked up at them some of the confusion on he's face disappeared when he saw them. Then he looked past them, fear appeared on his face. "Doyle?" Cordelia said, concern in her voice, "Are you all right…."

"Shh!" Angel cut in. Then turned around slowly. Cordelia did the same then gasped. Standing behind them was five vampires; the dock had become a nest over the years. Angel had been so caught up in Doyle coming back he had failed to notice the smell. "O god…" He heard Cordelia say before they attacked. He jumped in front of her and punched the vampire before he could hurt her. But him training Cordy wasn't for nothing; she soon joined in the fight.

After a few minutes, in which three vampires were dusted and more had come out, Cordelia noticed something that was very wrong. "Angel!" she called. "Where's Doyle!?"

Angel looked over and saw three vampires running toward the door, he beat his life Doyle had run out in the confusion; and now the vampires were going to get him. "Doyle!" he screamed, "Look out!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This was just too much for him. One minute you're playing a nice, heavenly game of chess with another half-demon, the next your standing at the spot where you died, looking at your two friends. Doyle shuddered at the thought of his death, he could remember the burning feeling all to well now. He pushed the thought aside, if he thought about it too much he would go crazy. It's one thing to come back from the dead, but to have a nest of vampires attack you less than a minute later…

"Doyle! Look out!"

Doyle turned around at the urgent sound in Angel's voice. He gave a small yelp when he saw three vampires running after him. He turned and ran faster, ducking behind the first crate he came too. Luckily the vampires didn't notice and they continued to run in the direction they thought that Doyle had gone.

After a few seconds Doyle came out from his hiding place and ran in the opposite direction that the vampires went. He didn't run far when he heard a scream behind him. As much as Doyle wanted to keep running his conscience told him to turn around and help the woman who had screamed.

Swearing he turned around and ran after the vampires. When he turned a corner he found himself in an alleyway. The vampires had come upon a teenage girl, around the age of 16. She looked shocked for a minute or two then she seemed to shake it off, her hand flew into her bag and brought out a stake. So this girl knew what she was dealing with, when she was about to attack Doyle grabbed one vampire from behind. His plan worked, the girl was able to stake the other two vampires. The remaining flipped Doyle of his back at the girl, knocking both of them over, and causing the stake to fly out of her hand. The vampire went for the girl, pinning her against the wall. Doyle ran for the stake, grabbed it and dusted the vamp.

The girl looked at Doyle and seemed even more shocked at seeing him then the vampires. "Um…thanks." She managed to say. Doyle could only sink to the ground against the wall. She looked at him in concern, "You ok? We'd better get out of here, there could be more." Doyle nodded and accepted her offer to help him up.

"I need to get to…some where…my friends." His words came out hesitantly. He really didn't know where he needed to go, after the vampire attack he wasn't sure if he was back on earth or if he'd been sent to hell. Couldn't be hell he said, they don't give you a few years in heaven just to take it all away. He wasn't sure of anything now.

The girl was nodding, "Ok," she said, "We can get a cab."

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Angel staked the last vampire and turned toward where Doyle had disappeared. Cordelia was already running down the path Doyle had gone, but Angel easily caught up with her. He ran passed her into an alley, following Doyle's scent.

"_This is not going according to plan." _Angel thought, out loud he said, "Look, he must of staked the vampires." He pointed out three piles of dust.

"Yea but where did he go?" Cordelia asked.

"His scent ends at the road, he must have gotten in a cab."

"Ok, you know I'll never get over the fact you can smell everyone, it's just so creepy."

"Cordelia," Angel said, he couldn't hide the look of worry on his face. "He wasn't alone."

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"So…um by the way my name is Emma." The girl said. They were still in the cab, traveling to Angel Investigations. Doyle had decided that's where Cordelia and Angel had probably gone to, if not, he could always go to Cordelia's apartment.

"Doyle", Doyle replied quietly. He knew the girl was only trying to make polite conversation, but he didn't feel like talking now. He was still trying to figure out what was going on exactly.

"Um, are you sure this is the right place?" Emma asked looking out the window.

"Yea," Doyle said hesitantly. Why wouldn't be the place, maybe Emma had thought it was a big business building. He step out of the cab and looked at the building, he gasped. What he was looking at was a burned down version of his office, of Angel apartment. He started walking toward the building, not really aware of doing so. He could hear Emma telling the cab driver to wait for them, before stepping out of the cab herself.

"I don't know that much about business places, but aren't they supposed to be safe to go into…wait! Where are you going, it's not safe!"

Doyle ignored Emma's warning, he was older than her anyway, what did she know about safe? He stepped inside and looked around, everything was ruined. Now Angel had a lot more to explain. Doyle walked over to his old desk; there were things there that he never had owned. He looked at the nameplate, _Wesley Wyndham-Pryce._ Someone had been working here after he died; his heart sank. He looked down at the burnt bottom drawer and tried to pull it open, it didn't budge. Just to back sure it wasn't because of the fire he tried another drawer, it opened! Doyle pulled a key out of his pocket and put it in the bottom draws lock, he turned the key and tried the drawer again. This time it opened and inside were charred journals, pictures and other thing of Doyle's. He pulled the remains of his past life out of the drawer.

"Do you need a place to put those?" Emma asked. Doyle jumped he didn't realize she had followed him inside.

"Sure." He said. Emma took the papers and put them in her bag.

"Come on," she said, "no one's here and it's not safe to be in a building like this."

Doyle nodded, and started to walk toward the door, but as if the building decided to prove Emma's point the roof-collapsed right then.

"Look out!"


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: Sorry about the delay, school's started and I'm really busy. I was able to finish this chapter sooner than I thought I would, but I might not be able to get another chapter up for a while. Sorry for any inconvenience, but I'll try.

Chapter 5

As soon as Cordelia got to her apartment she went straight to the guest bedroom, no Doyle. Disappointed she went back to the living room, where Angel was still making his way to the kitchen, she joined him and the rest of the gang in there.

"Hi Angel," Willow whispered, she obviously thought Doyle was sleeping in the guest room, "I was just telling everyone about what we talked about."

"And what is that?" Cordelia said.

"That Buffy and the gang are coming by to visit, we're looking for a new slayer who's in town." Willow replied.

"O great!" Cordelia cried, "First Doyle goes missing, now the whole Scooby gang is coming!"

"What!?" said five voices in unison.

"Doyle's missing?" Fred asked concern in her voice.

"What happened?" asked Wesley.

Angel explained about the vampire attack. "I think Doyle will come here, that's why were not out looking for him. If he goes to the old office first then he'll be able to tell we're not there, this will probably be the next place he comes to."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Fred made Cordelia some tea, which she accepted graciously, and they settled in for the wait.

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Doyle found himself lying at the bottom of the stairs leading to the door of the Angel Investigations building.

"_I'm alive, I didn't get buried underneath all the rumble." _Was his first thought, then came, _"Am I alive or am I still dead, I have no idea. Wait! Emma!"_ Doyle looked up to see the cab driver getting out of the car and coming over to him. He turned around and saw Emma sitting on the steps rubbing her ankle. Apparently she had pushed him out of the door just as the roof clasped. He tried to stand up, but he was too dizzy. He settled for asking from where he was, "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, but…oh…you have a gash on your head." Emma said concern on her face. Doyle didn't understand the concern, why was she helping him, a complete stranger. He'd had helped a little with the vampires, but still…

His thought's trailed off as the cab driver came up to him, "Are you two ok? Do you need to get to the hospital?"

Emma stood up, "I don't, but I think he does…"

"I'm fine," Doyle interrupted, even though he probably did need to go to the hospital. He just wanted to find his friends, Cordelia's apartment he thought. Doyle told the cab driver Cordelia's address, and then he and Emma help him in the cab.

In the cab Doyle was quiet, he was still trying to figure it all out. In the end he decided that he didn't like this world, he wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. Doyle started think about his childhood; life hadn't been easy, but it was still good. The cab slowed down to a stop.

"Is this it?" Emma asked.

Doyle started, he'd been so lost in thought he didn't even notice that they had arrived. He nodded, not trusting himself to say anything. Emma helped him out of the cab and paid the driver. Dizziness came over Doyle as he tried to walk up the path to Cordelia's apartment.

"Come on, not that much farther." Emma was saying, and then they were at the front door.

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Cordelia couldn't keep her eyes open any more, but she had to, just had to. She couldn't be asleep when Doyle got here, had to be up and ready. Let him know she missed him, help him ease back into this world. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

Cordelia jumped up right away, "I'll get it." She practically ran to the door and opened it. She let out a small gasp; there was Doyle half awake slumped over a girl's shoulder. "Angel!" she called.

Angel was there in a flash, when he saw Doyle he immediately went to help the girl bring him inside. Cordelia followed them into the guest bedroom. "What happened to him?" she asked.

The girl explained about going to the old office building and how the ceiling had collapsed. "He's ok, at least he was. On the way here he seemed to be zoning out, or something."

Doyle muttered something in his sleep and Angel nodded toward the kitchen. Cordelia followed the girl out of the room, wondering who she was. When they got there everyone looked up, started at the presence of a new girl.

"Um…hi," Fred said, "Are you a friend of Cordy's and Angel's?"

"What? Oh, no I was just helping their friend Doyle, I'm Emma by the way."

"Ok, Emma," Angel said, "mind telling us what's going on?"

Emma explained about the fight with the vampires and going to the office building. "The ceiling collapsed, that's kinda why he's out."

"_That's not the only reason, but they way Emma talks about it he's perfectly normal. Not a problem in sight, it makes me worry…" _Cordelia thought. "But you said in the cab he started zoning out?" she stated her worry aloud.

"Um, yeah. It seemed like he was thinking at first and then he was staring of into space. I don't know maybe I'm just being paranoid, but what happened to the guy?" Emma asked.

"Don't worry about it," Wesley said, "we'll take care of it."

Emma nodded, showing she understood. "Wait! I forgot there are some papers and stuff that he took out of the bottom drawer of one of the desks." She said and pointed to her bag sitting on the table.

Angel went over to take them out, but when he stuck his hand in the bag he drew it out a second later. A stifled cry escaped from his lips, his hand was burning. About three things happened then: One, Cordelia quickly got a wet rag for Angel's burn. Two, Wesley looked in the bag and pulled out a wooden cross, alone with the papers. Three, quick as a flash Emma jumped out of her seat and stared at Angel, eyes wide in horror.

"You a vampire!" she said, trying to keep her voice down for Doyle's sake. "A…a vampire!"

"Calm down," Spike said, "me and Angel have souls."

"You're a vampire too!" Emma shot at him, her voice rising to a level that she couldn't control.

"Yea, man, but they have souls." Gunn tried, but the terrified look on Emma's face wouldn't go away. Eventually they had to take her in a different room and explain while Angel and Spike waited in the kitchen. After a few minutes they convinced her she wasn't in any danger.

"How do you know about vampires?" Cordelia asked her.

Emma shrugged like she couldn't really explain it. "Wait," Willow said, "is your name Emma Watson?"

"Yea."

"Looks like we found our new slayer." Willow said smiling. They arranged that Emma came to Wolfram and Hart tomorrow after school.

"See ya then." Emma said and left.

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"I wish he'd wake up."

"You can't rush him, he just came back from the dead."

"Well so did you, but you didn't sleep for 18 hours afterwards."

"Not 18 but pretty close."

"I mean that you were all fine when you got back."

"Cordy, I'm a vampire."

"Yea, well…I can back and so did Gunn, Wesley and Fred. We're all fine."

Angel sighed; he was too tired to argue with Cordelia. Sure he wished Doyle would wake up too, but he wasn't going on and on about it.

"I wonder what all these are." Cordelia said as she sat down at her kitchen table. She pulled the pile of Doyle's things over to her. "Hmmmm, they look like journals, and maybe some pictures…"

"Cordelia, I don't think we should be getting in to his stuff, not while he's still asleep."

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." And with that she opened one of the journals. No sooner had she turned to the first page, then Doyle appeared in the doorway.

"What do you think your doing?" he asked in a stern, commanding voice.

"Doyle!" Cordelia said, dropping the journal on the table, "I…I didn't see you."

"I'll tell you your test scores this afternoon, no sooner."

"What, Doyle…"

"Now run along, go out to recess. Go on, go."

"He thinks he's back teacher 3rd grade." Angel said suddenly, "Just like the powers said he's retreating back to things that are familiar."

"I thought I told you to go outside!"

Cordelia looked hopelessly confused, she turned to Angel for help. Angel only shrugged. Cordelia turned back to Doyle.

"Doyle, stop it. It's me Cordelia, I'm not a student and you don't teach 3rd grade anymore." Doyle started walking away as if he hadn't heard her. Cordelia grabbed his arm and swung him around so that they were face to face. "Doyle" She pleaded.

Doyle looked at her like he'd never seen her before. Just as Cordelia was giving up hope he responded.

"Cordelia?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Angel looked uncertainly at the group; his eyes lingered on Cordelia, who had a lost look in her eye. "_This couldn't be happening; everything was going to be all right tomorrow Doyle would be fine." _Angel thought.

"Angel I know it's hard to except, but it's more than likely true." Wesley said, looking at his friend with concern. "The longer Doyle is here the more he'll retreat into his memories. First only major points in his life and then more detailed."

"It's just a theory Wesley, it doesn't mean it's true." Angel replied, he looked at Cordelia, she looked like she couldn't take much more of this.

"It might not be Angel, but if Doyle was in heaven, like I suspect, then he'll miss it more and more as time goes on. Therefore he'll be driven more and more into his memories before there was a heaven to miss."

"What if he wasn't in heaven, what if he went to…to hell?" Even as the words were coming out of her mouth, tears were falling down Cordelia's cheeks. Fred rushed over to comfort her.

"If he was in hell then all this would be a side effect of being tortured." Fred tried, "It might be easier to help him then, since he won't really miss that."

"But he'll still want to forget." Cordelia said.

"We won't know what to do until we know where he was." Wesley said.

"We came up with the plan that both you try to talk to him." Gunn said, "Since he don't know about any of us yet."

Cordelia and Angel nodded in agreement.

"In the mean time," Angel said, "You four should probably get the business running again. Spike go look for workers, one's with good intentions, not evil. Everyone else do what you normally would do, and any other odd jobs that need done."

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"You can go talk to him first."

"Why me?"

"Because this is MY house and I can talk to him anytime. Plus I want you out of my house."

"Thanks Cordelia." Angel sighed he new he wasn't going to win this one. Doyle was sitting on the couch, arguing with Dennis about what to watch on TV. "Here I go."

"Good luck." Cordelia said and walked toward the kitchen.

Angel came over and sat down on a chair opposite of Doyle. It was late, he was tired and he didn't know what to say.

"What's up man?" Doyle was looking over at Angel now, letting Dennis take control of the remote.

"Nothing…really…" Angel said nervously.

"Come on man I know you well enough to know when some thing's up." Doyle said.

"It's just that you've been, I don't know, avoiding conversation with me and Cordelia. About everything that's been going on…" Angel trailed off, he had Doyle's full attention now, but he didn't know how he should ask.

"You explained it last night right? What more is there to talk about?" Doyle didn't seem keen on the subject. "One thing we do need to talk about is that girls taste in beers." He went on nodding in the direction of the kitchen where Cordelia was.

Angel couldn't help but smile; Doyle wasn't acting strange now. Maybe he wasn't going crazy or back into his memories or whatever. Doyle had resumed his battle with Dennis over the remote; Cordelia came in and looked questionably at Angel. Angel shrugged and leaned back to watch Doyle and Dennis, or more Doyle and a floating remote. Cordelia turned to watch also and the first smile, in weeks came to her lips.

An hour or so later Angel said he should probably get to the office and check on things there, Cordelia walked him to the door.

"Well?" she asked.

"It's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it yet, we can't push him. Call me if he starts…you know…again." With that Angel walked out the door into the night.

Cordelia sighed and went back into the kitchen where Doyle was finishing his supper. She looked at her friend a moment before moving into his sight. He looked up at her, pushed he plate away and leaned back in his chair.

"Best meal I've had in a long time." He said, and then smiled like it was a joke.

"What you up for tonight?" Cordelia asked, "TV, going out, I still have a few board games and stuff, from when I was younger."

Doyle's smile got a little bigger, "A game sounds fine with me, but not a long one. I'm a little tired." Cordelia nodded and lead him to where she kept her games and let him chose. He took checkers out and smiled a mischievous grin. "I think this one will be good." And he led the way to the living room.

"O no I don't like that grin." Cordelia said following, "Don't tell me you the master at checkers." Cordelia almost stopped in her tracks as realization hit her. She didn't even know what games he like or was good at.

"You can say that." Doyle was saying, he hadn't noticed her hesitation. They played a couple games. In all of them Doyle creamed Cordelia, partly because of his talent and partly because Cordelia was getting more and more worried about Doyle as the games progressed. The time between his moves, thinking, became longer and longer. He kept getting a far off look and then would shake himself, returning to the game. "Well I'm tired." He said after the last game. "I think I'll turn in for the night."

Cordelia nodded and said good night. After she heard him close his bedroom door she rushed to the phone.

"Hello." Came the voice on the other end.

"Spike, it's Cordelia, get Angel for me." Cordelia whispered, as if Doyle was trying to over hear her call. She heard rustling on the other end, a faint call and more rustling.

"Hello." Came Angel's voice.

Quickly Cordelia told Angel what she had witnessed during their checkers game. "I think he's going to have another flash back thingy." She said, "The last time he had one Emma said he'd been zoning out."

"Emma's here let me check if it's the same thing." For a second Cordelia was shocked to hear that Emma was there, then she remembered they had arranged for her to meet Willow today. "Ok, Emma says that it's similar, but I can't come over right now. Spike recruited some demons that are stealing things."

Cordelia cursed Spike under her breath. "I can't deal with this on my own."

On the other end she heard Angel sigh. "I know, look Doyle knows who Emma is, is it ok if I send her over."

"Yes."

"She'll be right there."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cordelia answered the knock on the door. She found Emma in the hall with an apologetic smile on her face, her hands behind her back. She withdrew them and Cordelia saw she had her brass doorknocker in her hand.

"Sorry I can't really control my slayer powers yet."

"It's fine, thanks for coming over."

"It's no problem really, don't have much better things to do. I hope you don't mind me doing a bit of homework though."

"I thought you said you didn't have better things to do?"

"Well I don't count homework has something better to do."

Cordelia smiled, this was the kind of thinking she had when she was younger. Lately though, everything had been so crazy. Emma had agreed to come over when ever she could and Angel couldn't. They moved to the kitchen, where Emma spread her homework over the table.

"You know I'm glad I'm doing my homework here, I didn't think Angel would get modern day school." Emma said.

"Trust me, Angel doesn't get a lot of modern day things." Cordelia replied.

They worked like that for an hour or so, then sat and chatted for a long while. Cordelia was beginning to like this girl. She had plans for the future and was already figuring out how to balance being a slayer and college.

Suddenly Doyle came into the room, he had that far off look in his eyes.

"You didn't need to follow me, I'm just getting a glass of water." He said looking over his shoulder.

"Doyle?" both girls asked at the same time.

He seemed to be listening to a reply before he walked over to an invisible person.

"Harry you don't need to worry, we just got married and I'll be there every morning when you wake up; I promise."

"O no," Emma said, "He's back in his memories."

"Doyle, please." Cordelia had gone up to him.

"Harry I love you too, now go back to bed. I'll be there in a minute." Doyle was saying to his wife.

"Harry's not there, Doyle please." Cordelia begged.

Doyle ignored her pleas and started toward the sink for his glass of water, but Emma block his way. He stood still, looked confused, then turned around. Cordelia blocked his way there too. He looked closely at Cordelia.

"Princess what's going on?" He asked. Cordelia let out a sigh of relief and Emma fell back into her chair. Doyle turned around. "Emma?"

"Doyle why don't you go back to bed and I'll come in and talk to you later." Cordelia said.

"Now wait a minute, I'm not a kid Cordelia…" Doyle started to protest, but Cordelia cut in.

"Please, Doyle."

Doyle saw the pleading in her eyes and nodded. After he left Cordelia turned to Emma. "You can go home now, I need to call Angel."

Emma nodded and gathered up her books. On her way out she put her hand on her shoulder and left. Cordelia sighed and picked up the phone to call Angel.

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Doyle wasn't quite sure what was happening; first he was in his room, getting ready to go to bed. Next thing he knew he was standing in the kitchen in front of Cordelia, who looked very worried. _"And what's with her treating me like a child, I'm older than her. Or maybe I haven't aged at all since I…NO! Don't think about that Doyle. Wait, who's she calling now?"_

Doyle peeked out from behind his door and saw Cordelia dial a phone number.

"Spike…no Wesley, sorry you both have English accents, don't take it personally. Is Angel there?" Cordelia said into the phone.

"_So she's just calling Angel, no big deal there. Spike…wasn't he that evil vampire who tortured Angel for that ring, and Wesley…the Wesley from the desk plate?"_ Doyle tuned out his thoughts so he could listen to Cordelia again, he felt like a little kid, spying on his parents to see if they'd let him get that new game or something.

"It happened again," Cordelia was saying, "only this time it was harder to get him to come out of it. …No I'll talk to him, but I think the best thing is if he gets out of the house, familiar things only drive him farther back into his memories. …Ok see you then. Bye."

"_Leave the house? Go out and see some new things, because familiar things just drive me back into my memories? What is going on!?" _Doyle climbed back into bed, again feeling like a little kid, before Cordelia came in. She walked in, not taking her eyes off Doyle, and sat down on a chair she pulled over beside his bed. "So what's up Delia?" Doyle asked in a would be casual voice.

Cordelia took a deep breath before talking, "I'm not going to beat around the bush Doyle, that has gotten us no where. You have to stop going back into your memories, no more zoning out, no more let's act out scenes from my life. Ok?"

Doyle looked puzzled; _"She's worried about me thinking about he past?" _Out loud he said, "Princess I don't know what your talking about, zoning out? And, what was it, acting out scenes from my life?"

"You keep thinking about the past, and when you do that you zone out. Then, later, you start acting like something in your life is happening all over again. Like people who aren't there are, well there. It's hard to explain…"

"Look, Cordelia, I'm perfectly fine, just…just a little tired. I think I'll go to sleep now ok?" Cordelia nodded then stood up.

"Doyle, I've really missed you." She said, "I've had so many nightmares about the day you…died. I haven't talked about it much, but I've always wished you'd come back. Now that you're here… I just want things to go back to they way they were, as close as we can get ok?" Without waiting for an answer she left the room, eyes filling with tears.

Doyle was startled by her confession, he wanted to "get better" even though he didn't know what was wrong. But suddenly, he didn't want to leave the house.

That night two people, a room or two away from each other, slept restlessly. Dreaming about the same dream. Doyle's death flashed in their minds. The pain both of them felt came back like and old wound. Then before all the pain came back the moment of their farewell. _"To bad we'll never get to see…if this is a face you could love." _Then their kiss, the first and last.

Cordelia and Doyle, both woke with a start, small beads of sweat coming down their faces.

Doyle went back into a fitful sleep soon after he had awoken. At first he slept dreamlessly, but just before dawn the nightmare came back to him. All the pain was fresh once more. He thrashed about in his sleep for a bit before a voice called him back to reality.

"Doyle! Doyle wake up!"

"Huh?" Doyle opened his eyes to see Cordelia leaning over him, looking very worried. "Delia? What are you doing in here?" he said confused.

"I…um…Dennis heard you thrashing around, he came and got me." She replied.

Doyle looked around and saw his sheets all over the place, and as he looked more closely he saw that the chair that Cordelia had been sitting in the night before wasn't against the wall, where he left it, but pulled back up beside the bed. He realized she had come in and had been watching him sleep. Suddenly Doyle felt touched and glad that she cared so much.

"Angel's coming over today, um…we were wondering if you were up to meeting some knew people. We've been working with them over the years. Is it ok if they come over too?" Cordelia seemed hesitant in asking him this.

"Sure Delia, um…will one of them be that Wesley you were talking on the phone with last night?" At first Cordelia looked shocked that he knew this, but then she nodded her head. Doyle continued, "He wouldn't happen to be the same Wesley that had my old desk back at the office, would it?"

Cordelia's expression changed from curious to concern in a flash. "Yes, but Doyle if you don't want them to come over it'd be ok…"

"It's fine Princess," Doyle cut in, "I was just wondering, that's all." And with that he walked to the kitchen for breakfast.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors notes: if in the next chapter you see a little changes in the characters behavior it's because I'm trying to pay more attention to how the behaved or acted in the show.

Chapter 7

Later in the day, Wesley, Fred, and Gunn came over to the house. They explained that Angel and Spike were coming as soon as the sun went down. At Spike's name Doyle shot Cordelia a questioning look, but she assured him that everything was fine and explained that he had a soul now too. Doyle just shrugged and sat down in a chair, the other's followed suit.

"So…" Cordelia said in an attempt to start up conversation, "What have you guys been doing at the office?"

"O you know, the usual stuff. We're trying to get all of our clients back, they kinda heard 'bout what happened and aren't to pleased." Fred said.

"Yes, I'm afraid that we've lost a lot clients who were more or less going to us because we weren't rebelling against the Senior Partners." Wesley put in.

"There's been some trouble, but nothing we can't handle." Gunn explained. Everyone, but Doyle nodded in agreement. Doyle had that far off look again, but as soon as silence fell he seemed to shake himself out off it.

"So, what kind of business is Angel Investigations now?" he asked casually, trying to shake off the look Cordelia was giving him.

"Well it's no longer Angel Investigations, though we basically do the same thing. We're now Wolfram and Hart." Fred said.

"Wolfram…Wolfram and Hart? Aren't those the bad guys?" Doyle replied.

Fred explained, with the help of Wesley and Gunn, Cordelia was absorbing the information as much as Doyle was. Since she hadn't been alive either when they became Wolfram and Hart, she asked as many questions as Doyle. By the time everything was explained Angel and Spike showed up. When Spike came in Doyle tensed up quite a bit.

"So were did Willow go?" Cordelia asked, trying to get Doyle's mind off Spike.

"Red's gone to make sure the hotel the Scooby gang's staying at has enough rooms prepared." Spike said with ease, sitting down opposite of Doyle, completely on aware of the tense look he was being given. They talked for a while, and soon came to the topic of Cordelia's visions. Cordelia was in the middle of telling Spike how painful they had been, when Doyle suddenly got up and left the room. Cordelia was about to call after him when Angel said, "Let me handle it."

Doyle wandered into Cordelia's room with even know that's were he had been headed. _"I caused her so much pain," _he thought, _"And with something that was supposed to be a gift."_ He wandered past Cordelia's bed and tripped over something. He pulled out from underneath the bed a plastic box, filled with prescription pills and a cat scans of, what appeared to be, Cordelia's brain.

"Doyle?" Angel's voice came from the doorway, "Are you ok?"

Doyle turned around, holding the cat scans; his face was full of concern and confusion. "What is this?" he asked hold out the cat scans to Angel.

Angel took one look at the cat scans and sat down on the bed, "Doyle I don't know if this is the time, or if I'm the one that should tell you…"

"Just tell me what this is. Angel, no lies."

Angel took a deep breath, "The visions weren't meant for humans, they were killing her with each one. But she chose to keep them; she didn't want to give them up. She became half demon just so she'd be able to continue having them with out them killing her. Doyle she kept them because…" Angel had been rushing, a little, what he'd been saying so Doyle wouldn't interrupt.

He did anyway, "I…I killed her."

"Doyle, no. It wasn't your fault…"

"No, Angel, I gave her the visions. I killed her, no matter how you look at it, it's my fault she died." He dropped the cat scans and looked around, anywhere but at Angel. "I have to…have to go out. By myself…just for a bit."

"Doyle I don't think that's a good idea." But Doyle was already out the door.

Everyone jumped when they heard the front door slam. Then they all looked at Angel who appeared in the doorway.

"Cordelia I need to talk to you." Was all he said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Angel you have to let me go."

"Cordelia, he could be anywhere, I'd be able to find him faster."

"I'm the one he needs to talk to! I'm going! I'll just check all the old bars and stuff he said he used to go to, and I'll have my cell phone. Ok?"

Angel sighed, he new he wouldn't win this one, "Ok, I'll take everyone back to the office, call me when you find him ok."

"Done I'll be back before you know it." Cordelia was wrong though, she wouldn't be able to find him that easily, if fact it was the last bar Cordelia tried. There they Irishman was sitting at the bar ordering another drink. Cordelia let out a sigh of relief and walked over to him. "Doyle! I'm so glad I found you!"

"What will it be miss?" the bartender asked.

"O, what? No, no I'm just here to pick up my friend." She turned to Doyle, "Come on now we have to…go." Suddenly Cordelia realized Doyle was drunk, this would be even harder then she thought.

"Cordelia!" Doyle said loudly, "What'd you doing here? I'm just having a drink, want one?"

"No, Doyle I think you've had enough." Cordelia was getting a little worried, Doyle was likely to get into trouble if she couldn't get him out of there.

"Come on 'hic' Delia. This is my first time I've had a drink in 'hic' five years. I got a long way to catch 'hic' up." Doyle looked at Cordelia with a goofy grin. Then suddenly he got a serious look. "Besides 'hic' you don't want me to be with ya…I'm the reason your dead!" he almost shouted the last part.

"Doyle! Shh." She said quietly, then a little louder, "I'm not dead Doyle, the car crash just hurt me a bit. I'm fine."

"Did you just shush me? And what car crash are ya talking 'bout? I'm meant those visions! 'hic' " He said getting more and more loud.

"Boy you are drunk, visions and all." Cordelia said loud enough so that anyone who cared could hear. "Doyle! Shh…stop talking about that stuff." She was whispering now. Then her phone rang, as she answered it Doyle continued with his ranting.

"She shushed me again didn't she? You…you can't shush 'hic' me!"

"Hello?" Cordelia said into her phone.

"Cordy? Did you find him yet?" Wesley's voice came from the other end.

"Yeah, but he's drunk so I'm having a hard time getting him out of here."

"Just come to the office as quickly as you can, Buffy and the others are here."

"O great, he hasn't met any of them, how will I get him to come…wait. Wes is Oz there to?"

"Yes he is, but what…" Wesley began.

"Never mind I have to go." With that Cordelia hung up.

"Hey…hey Princess, do you mind buying me 'hic' another drink? I ran out of me money 'hic hic'." Doyle said with what would be an innocent puppy face, if he didn't have a crazy, drunken grin on his face.

"No, Doyle I'm not buying you another drink, but you know what?" Cordelia said as if she were talking to a child, determined to get a candy bar.

" 'hic' No, what?"

"Oz is in town, you remember Oz right?"

"Oz…Oz," Doyle thought hard for a few minutes before a wide grin spread across his face, "You mean my little Bam-Bam?"

Cordelia almost laughed right there, "Yes Doyle, your little Bam-Bam. Now will you come with me to go see him?"

"On one condition…" Doyle said, a sly, drunken smile on his face.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm getting worried, if she hasn't been able to get him out of the bar by now…there might have been trouble." Wesley said matter of factually.

"We'll wait a few more minutes and then if they aren't here, or haven't called yet, then we'll go looking for them." Angel said, but the worry showed on his face more than anything. Buffy put a hand on his arm.

"I'm sure they're fine Angel, you don't need to worry." She said, no sooner did the words come out of her mouth then they heard a noise outside the office, like someone singing…very badly.

"Her beautiful eyes were…um… her beautiful eyes." Doyle's singing echoed across the empty lounge. "Delia do you know the rest of the words to the song?"

Cordelia sighed, "No Doyle, I don't. I don't think they made more words to the song, that's from a movie you know."

"Yep, yep I know, but there are more words, I just can't think of them. Her beautiful eyes were…" Doyle trailed off looking around the building; he was holding a beer bottle, half full. He wouldn't leave the bar until Cordelia had bought him another one.

Cordelia had to give him a small tug, to get him to keep moving, before she turned to where Angel, Buffy and the rest of the gang were standing. "Hey everyone!"

After greetings were exchanged Buffy looked at Doyle, "He's a little drunker than I remember him."

"O yeah, I forgot you met him too, he Doyle you Oz is here, and Buffy, you remember them." Cordelia pushed Doyle forward and Buffy and Oz took a step forward from the group to help Doyle pick them out.

"Bam-bam!" Doyle said joyfully, "How's it going Bam-Bam!" Everyone looked questionably at Oz.

"He called me that once when I brought the ring to Angel." He tried to explain, "He was drunk then too." Everyone nodded as Doyle turned to Buffy.

"Buffy!" He said loudly, "How's it going with the vampires and the slaying and what not. You look a little buffer that I remember…haha buff Buffy! Nice place here, little bigger than the old office…" he trailed off and he looked like he was trying to remember something.

"Um…Cordy, maybe you should take him home. We'll try tomorrow to introduce him to everyone." Cordelia nodded and was turning toward Doyle when Angel continued, "And I called Harry, I thought she could help…" he trailed off not knowing how Cordelia would take this.

She just nodded and Doyle spoke up, "This beer right here, this is the best Irish beer in the world, one better."

"Doyle, we're going now, ok?" Cordelia cut in.

"Ok, um where are we going?" Doyle asked taking a drink of the beer.

Cordelia sighed, "Home, Doyle, home."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

After Cordelia took Doyle home everyone went to their offices to get a little more work done before they went home. Xander, Oz, Willow, Dawn, Andrew and Giles went exploring the empty building. Buffy however stayed behind so she could talk with Angel. She politely knocked on his door before entering.

"Hey Buffy." Angel said looking up from his work. "Not going exploring with the others?"

"No, I thought I stay behind, kinda tired ya know?"

Angel nodded; he went back to his work, thinking Buffy would continue the conversation as he worked. When she didn't say anything Angel knew something was up. "What's up?" he asked casually.

"Angel, are you alright?" Buffy said, she went on hesitantly, "I mean with this thing with Doyle and stuff. Are you sure you doing ok?"

"I'm fine." Buffy knew he wasn't fine just by him saying he was. She went over and sat down on he's desk, facing him. "Buffy…" but she shushed him.

"Don't say anything unless your gonna tell me what's wrong, ok?"

At first Angel didn't say anything, then a single tear slid down his face, when Buffy whipped it away he looked up at her. "Everything's going to be fine." He said as if to convince himself, "Everything's ok with Doyle…he's fine. We're not…we're not gonna lose him again, right?"

Buffy pulled Angel into her arms, "Of course, everything's going to be fine, don't you worry." And she just sat there holding Angel letting him cry silently in her arms.

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In Wesley's office not much work was being done, Fred had been catching up on everything that had happened when she was gone. They had been cuddling, and somehow ended up in a make out session. Fred giggled the giggle that Wesley loved so much; he pulled her closer to him.

Reluctantly she pulled away, "We really should be working Wes."

"We can always finish up tomorrow, there's no big case to work on right now." Wesley replied, again trying to pull her closer to him, she resisted.

"What about Doyle?" She said looking him in the eye; she could see how tired and stressed he became when she mentioned this.

Wesley sat up a little in his chair, "I can't find anything that'd help us, and he'll go back to normal as soon as he wants too, which could be never. But we can't push him or he'll go crazy. I'm not sure if bringing Harry here will help at all, Doyle has a lot of bad memories with her."

"But it's the best we've got." Fred said, leaning her head against Wesley's shoulder.

"Yes, it's the best we've got right now… It's getting late, I think we can head to our rooms." Wesley replied they all were staying in rooms at the office, with the exception of Cordelia and Doyle, until they could find their own places.

"Ok, we'd better check in on Gunn, tell him he should go to bed too." Wesley nodded and they walked down to Gunn's office hand in hand. Fred knocked on the door, "Gunn?"

They heard rustling inside before he said, "Come in." Wesley and Fred stepped inside his office.

"We just wanted to check on you and let you know we're going to bed and you should probably too." Wesley said.

"Ok, I'll go in a few minutes, got to finish up here first." Gunn replied.

"Told you we should of finished first." Fred whispered to Wesley.

Wesley smiled, "Gunn it'd be fine if you finish that up tomorrow." Wesley walked over to the desk, "You look exhausted… what's this?" Wesley pulled a high school graduation test from underneath one of Gunn's books.

"It's nothing really…" But before Gunn could finish Fred had walked over too and pulled out a college application.

"Gunn why do you have all of this?" Fred asked.

"Cause…well I just…" Gunn took a deep breath before answering, "I want to go to college and I can't with out a high school diploma. So I've been taking classes over the internet and they send you your test in the mail. I want to have an education, like everyone else." He said all this very fast, as if he'd wanted to tell someone for a long time, but had been too ashamed.

"Gunn that's wonderful, there's nothing wrong with wanting to go to college. You should have told us sooner." Wesley said.

"Yeah Gunn, there's nothing wrong with going back to high school and all that. Hey, we should tell Angel, that might cheer him up." Fred put in.

Gunn shook his head, "It might upset him more, if I get into this college then I will have to go there full time. That means I won't be able to work here for a couple of years. So lets just wait 'til later to tell him ok?"

Fred and Wesley looked at each other before pulling Gunn out of his office toward Angel's office, ignoring his protest.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cordelia had thought it had been an accomplishment just to get Doyle home, but getting him to go to bed was harder. She finally convinced to change into his pj's and after several minutes of waiting in the hallway she started banging on the door telling him to open up. Doyle opened the door; hand on his head, and looking as if someone had just hit him in the head with a hammer. "G…geez Delia do you have to be so loud?" he asked her.

Cordelia walked passed him into his bedroom, "If you hadn't gone and gotten so drunk everything wouldn't seem so loud. Now come on get into bed." She pulled up a chair next to his bed and took out a book.

"What are you doing?" Doyle asked not moving.

"I'm making sure you don't hurt yourself, now get in bed now!" It wasn't a suggestion. Doyle hurried up and climbed into his bed. Doyle sat up and stared off into the distance, Cordelia was worried. "What's wrong Doyle?"

Doyle shook his head, and then after a few minutes he spoke, "I miss it sometimes."

Cordelia put down the book she'd been pretending to read. "Miss what?"

"Heaven." Doyle said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Funny, when I was there I'd missed everything down hear. The old office, my apartment, pubs, Angel…" He looked over at Cordelia, "And you. Now that I'm back here I miss up there…but not all the time."

"Doyle…" she stopped not knowing exactly what to say.

"Did Angel say Harry's coming here?" he said as if he hadn't just talked about missing heaven.

"Yes, we think she can help us…" again Cordelia trailed off.

"Help you with me." Doyle saw the look of surprise and shock on Cordelia's face and gave a small laugh. "Don't you think I've figured some stuff out myself darling? Something's wrong with me, and even I'm not sure what."

"Doyle its ok, everything's gonna be ok." Cordelia leaned down and hugged Doyle tight. She drew back and left the room a tear in her eye.

Doyle stared numbly at his hand; he was getting dizzy from all the alcohol. He remembered a time when he didn't drink as much, when alcohol was still a foreign substance. He drifted off to sleep lost in his thoughts.

The next morning, when Doyle woke up, he found Cordelia and Harry talking in the kitchen. When Cordelia looked up she smiled at him, but worry was written all over her face. "Good morning Doyle, sleep well." Doyle nodded and sat down, carefully avoiding both girls' eyes.

"Hey Francis, how you feeling?" Doyle was surprised at the concern in her voice. He didn't want her concern; he didn't want her to be here, he liked it with just him and Cordelia.

"I'm fine Harry, fine as can be." This time he only avoided Cordelia's eyes, she would think now that his confession last night, about knowing that something was wrong, was a drunken statement that didn't mean anything. He just wanted Harry to leave.

Harry just nodded and drank her coffee that Cordelia had given her. "I'm only staying for a little bit right now," she said, "Angel wants me to go to the office and talk to him…"

Cordelia nodded, "I'll call you a cab." She got up to call, leaving Harry and Doyle sitting there in an awkward silence.

Doyle, not being able to stand the silence, broke it. "So you and Cordelia pals now uh?" he asked casually.

Harry looked confused, "We'll I guess we're friends," she said hesitantly, "but I'm here to help you get better."

"I told you Harry I'm fine, just a little headache that's all."

"You really shouldn't drink all the time, Francis…"

Doyle cut her off, "I'm a grown man Harry, there's no need to tell me what's good for me and what's not. And I've told you before…its Doyle, just Doyle now." At that time Cordelia came back into the room and Harry only nodded. Cordelia escorted her to the door and came back looking troubled.

She sat down at the table and didn't speak for a minute. She watched Doyle try to open childproof aspirin, and then suddenly wrenched it out of his hands.

"Hey! Someone's not a morning person, huh?" Doyle said shocked at her sudden burst of anger.

"Really Doyle! She's just here to help why did you have to be so rude!" Cordelia responded opening the bottle and getting him a glass of water, she slammed the glass of water and the aspirin down on the table in front of Doyle. "Come on take your stupid medicine!" she sat down at the table and glared at him from across the table.

Doyle quickly swallowed the pills, afraid of another outburst from Cordelia. After she had calmed down a bit Cordelia said softly, "She's just worried about you, so are we! We want to help you and she does too…"

"Who said I wanted her help!" Doyle said angrily, "Who said I wanted anyone's help!"

"Doyle you said so yourself, you know something's wrong."

"But to bring Harry into this! I don't need my ex-wife involved in any part of my life anymore! Have you even asked me what I wanted, maybe if you asked me I could tell you what you need to make be better!" Doyle was shouting now.

There was a small look of fear on Cordelia's face; she had never seen Doyle so mad, "Doyle, please…you didn't have a problem with this last night. We didn't know what else to do, we just want you back…"

"I was just realizing last night why you wanted to bring Harry here, I wasn't even really thinking about her at the time! And want me back to what! The way I was, you know after dying and coming back to life a person changes a little!" Doyle took a deep breath, "I…I can't handle all this, I…I need to get out for a bit." He got up and started walking to the door.

"Doyle I don't think that's such a good idea." Cordelia called after him, but he didn't listen. Cordelia stood there, dumbfounded, as she heard him slam the door shut.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Angel made Buffy promise not to tell anyone about his little break down and he put on his best smile when Gunn told him his plans to go to college. When everyone else got back from exploring they made plans to celebrate tomorrow after a good nights sleep. And that's where Angel was right now, trying his hardest to be happy for his friend even though he wished he'd stay right here.

"You ok man? You look kinda down." Gunn's voice brought Angel back from his thoughts.

"I'm fine Gunn, really happy for you. I _am_," he said at the look of disbelief on Gunn's face, "just worried about Doyle that's all. But I don't want to ruin your party, don't worry about me I'll be fine." He said that meaningfully so that Gunn would know that Angel _was_ happy for him, he just wished it could wait. _"But they won't live forever like me" _Angel thought.

Gunn had nodded, satisfied with Angel's answer and went back to the party. Suddenly Buffy appeared at Angel's side. Angel hadn't seen her for the whole time of the party and was just about to ask her where she'd been, when Buffy spoke up.

"Sorry I was late, I was giving Emma a little training session before Gunn's party started. I guess it ran a little late huh?" she smiled apologetically at Angel, and before he could say it was fine she spoke again. "So how you doing?"

"I'm ok." He didn't say more, what else could he say. They'd talked about it all last night; Buffy had wondered why the others weren't helping out with Doyle. Angel said it was too much of a personal matter for him and Cordelia, he also confessed he didn't feel like he was helping too much. "I think I'm putting to much of this on Cordy." He'd said, "I'm gonna have to start helping out more, give Cordelia a break for a bit." He knew Cordelia wouldn't take it; she wouldn't let Doyle leave her sight if she could help it. Just then Harry came in.

"Hey, celebrating something?" she said. She was quickly brief on what was going on before Angel led her too his office. Buffy wanted to come alone too, but the look on Angel's face told her this wasn't something she could help with. "So I checked in on Francis and Cordelia." Harry said when as Angel shut the door behind them.

"Yeah? How are they doing? I'm gonna go over there soon to check in on them, I feel like I haven't really been doing my part." Angel looked upset at the thought.

"Well Cordelia's fine, but Francis didn't look to happy to see me…maybe the bad memories of the last few months of our marriage is too much for him to remember the good ones, to help him you know?"

"Maybe, Doyle was kinda a wreck last time you where here…forgot about that."

"Doyle, I keep forgetting you just call him Doyle here, seems kinda strange to me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dawn was just trying to describe to Emma what had happened in Sunnydale right before it was destroyed. "Yea its just basically a hole in the ground now." She was saying when the phone rang; she picked it up casually. "Hello? Oh, hey Cordy…Harry? She's talking to Angel right now…yeah, ok. Buffy! Cordelia's on the phone!"

Buffy came over, a small look of concern was on her face. Maybe I'm over reacting, maybe there's nothing wrong and this is just a social call for Cordelia. It couldn't be fun being cut off from everyone you know except for a few people.

"Hello? …Ok, no don't worry I'll tell her… yes I'll go right now. Ok, bye." Buffy hung up the phone and started walking toward Angel's office without saying a thing. She walked up to the door and knocked hard, "Angel! Open up, it's important!"

Inside Angel and Harry looked curiously at the door; they had just been discussing what would be the best way to help Doyle. "Angel!" Buffy yelled, Angel hurried over to the door and opened it.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Concern showed on his face, which was there only too much now a day.

"Cordy wants Harry to go to her apartment right away…she didn't say why." She said to Angel's unasked question.

Behind Angel Harry was nodding, "I'll go right away." She said and with that she walked out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Don't be so worried."

"How can I not be worried? Something has to be up, why else would she want Harry over there _right away_."

"Maybe she just wanted to start helping Doyle, with Harry's help, _right away_."

Angel just sighed and buried his face into his hands. _"Why wouldn't Cordelia want me there, does she think I don't want to be? That's got to be it!" _He thought, out loud he said, "She thinks I don't want to be there, that I want to stay here at work. Which is no surprise, I've been using work as an excuse not to really think about it…God! This just makes me feel even more guilty!"

"Angel! Calm down I'm sure she has her reasons, maybe she…well I'm not sure what the reason's might be, but that isn't a reason to worry." When Angel just shook his head Buffy's anger rose. "OK, I am _not_, I repeat not gonna let you brood while your friends are out there celebrating something good that has happened. _That's_ what you need, in fact that's what Cordelia needs too! To see the good that's in all of this, well…disaster I guess you can call it, nothing towards Doyle. So your gonna go out there," Buffy said taking his arm, "and you're gonna have a good time, and I'm gonna call Cordelia and tell her to get her ass up here and that to bring Doyle too, cause I'm sure it'd help him to get away fro the gloom for a bit. Now come on!" And with that Buffy pulled Angel out of his office back to the party.

When Buffy had finally pulled Angel all the way to the party she pushed him toward everyone and marched off to call Cordelia. Everyone turned to look at Angel. "Everything alright?" Wesley asked.

"Everything's fine, Buffy's gonna call Cordy and see if she wants to come to the…party…" he stopped talking with a shocked look on his face.

"What's up man?" Gunn asked.

Angel suddenly looked disgusted with himself, "I can't believe I did this! I forgot to tell Cordy about you going to college and the party!" he sat down and buried his face in his hands.

"Um…well I'll go tell Buffy she might have to explain something's to Cor…" Xander said and walked off in search of Buffy.

"Boy Angel, you're really slipping aren't ya? It's almost like you're the one who was ripped out of heaven, not Doyle." Spike said sarcastically.

"Spike this is no time for rude comments, why don't you go…well just go off somewhere?" Giles said.

Before Spike could protest Dawn had pulled him up by the hand, "Come on Spike, you can show me around the rest of the place." As they walked away Xander came in.

"Ok Buffy said she'll tell Cordelia that Gunn just told us today that's he's gonna go to college…"

"Hold on a minute there man, I might not get in." Gunn interrupted.

"Of course you'll get in Gunn." Fred said; Wesley nodded in agreement. They had been sneaking back into their chairs as they talked.

"And just were have you guys been?" Gunn asked eyebrows raised.

Fred waved away the question, "What were you saying Xander?"

"Um, yeah. Well so she's telling her that just today we found out so this party is even more last minute than she was, and we've only started it a hour or two ago. Every one got that?"

Everyone said yes and Willow and Oz looked up and nodded. Then they continued their quite conversation they were having in a corner of the room.

When Buffy came back into the room everyone looked at her expectantly, she shook her head. "She's not gonna come right now, she says Doyle is sleeping and she doesn't want to leave him. When I said that Harry could watch him until he wakes up she said no, that Doyle wasn't too happy 'bout Harry's being here in the first place and she doesn't want to upset him more. But they might come here a little later, even if the party's over. And _no_ she didn't say why she just wanted Harry to go over there." Buffy said to Angel as soon as she saw his mouth open.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, won't we?" Angel said and everyone nodded in agreement.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Cordelia waited impatiently for Harry to get to her apartment, she paced up and down the hall until she heard the doorbell ring. She pulled open the door and relief swept over her when she saw Harry. "Come in, come in!" Cordelia said, practically pulling Harry inside.

"Cordelia! What's wrong!? You didn't say a thing over the phone…" Harry began, but Cordelia interrupted her.

"Doyle left, I'm mean he just walked out the door! I'm not even sure what happened, he got all upset that you were here and we hadn't talked to him first and then he just left! I don't know what to do I've looked every where for him, I…I…I" Cordelia burst into tears, Harry put a comforting arm around her shoulders, "It's all my fault to I just know it is!"

"Shh, shh it isn't you did what you thought was right, he had no right to get mad at you. Don't worry we'll find him, but why didn't you tell Angel, he'd want to know…"

"I know, I know! But he's already stressed out the way it is and I didn't want to put anymore pressure on him."

"Cordelia you're the one stressed out! He should help and I bet he wants to! Why don't we just call him?" Harry said moving toward the phone.

"No!" Cordelia cried out, "Look we can call him if anything else goes wrong, but not before ok?" Harry nodded just as the phone started ringing. Cordelia went and answered it, "Hello? O hey Buffy, how are you? Me? I'm fine. Really! We'll that's great I'm so happy for Gunn…go to the party? No, no…um…Doyle's sleeping and I don't want to leave him here. Harry watch him? No he wasn't too happy about her being here in the first place and I don't want to upset him more…ok then. Bye."

"You should have just asked for Angel and told him…" Harry said.

"Hey! We made a deal only if something else happens, ok?" Harry nodded again and Cordelia, satisfied, went to work trying to figure out where Doyle would have gone. After a half-hour the doorbell rang. Cordelia got up to see who it was and received a surprise to see Emma standing there. "Um…Emma…hi, Angel's still at the office…"

"Yea I know he sent me here to check up on you and insist that you go to the party." Emma said letting herself in, Cordelia ran ahead of her and blocked her way, just before entering the living room where Harry was.

"You know," she said a little loudly, "Harry and I are set up in my bedroom, we're trying to figure out a plan to help Doyle." Only Cordelia heard Harry's scramble to get to the bedroom, before Cordelia let Emma past. She continued in a perfectly normal voice, "Why don't you join us?"

"Um…ok your weird." Emma stated before walking toward the bedroom, she didn't see Cordelia stick her tongue out at her from behind. "So, what's the plan?"

"Um…well, we don't actually know yet…maybe you could help…" Cordelia said opening up the door to the bedroom. Harry was sitting in a chair with a paper in her hand as if they had been working hard all day.

"Hi," Harry said, "Cordelia you know we might have more room in the living room…"

Cordelia shook her head, "I told you all ready I don't want to disturb up Doyle, there's a much better chance of that out there…" Cordelia hoped that Harry got that Cordelia didn't want to have Doyle come in while Emma was still there, because she was sure to tell Angel.

Harry nodded and they got to work, they were all thinking of a way to help him but nothing was coming. Different suggestions were said, but nothing that everyone hadn't thought of before, or they hadn't tried. After a few hours they heard the front door slam shut, they all jumped. Emma looked questionably at Cordelia and Harry.

"Um…Doyle must not realize we're in here, I'll go check on him…" she got up and went to the kitchen where she could hear Doyle moving things in the refrigerator. "Doyle?" She walked into the kitchen to see Doyle moving his normal brand of Irish beer aside to fit a case of a different brand; Cordelia could see that it was still Irish brand. Just like Doyle, she thought, keep to his ethnic background, a small smiled formed around her lips but she pushed it away until she knew Doyle was all right. "Doyle?" she said again.

Doyle turned around and looked at Cordelia and nodded to show he was listening. "Are you ok?" Cordelia asked, hoping he would say something, but again he just nodded. "Doyle!" she said a little more forcefully than she meant, "Please say something!"

Doyle, having fit his beer into the refrigerator, turned again to look at her. He seemed to look though her, his eyes unfocused. "Just thought I'd try a new brand of beer that's all." He said and sat down to drink one.

"Cordelia?" Harry's voice said from the hall.

"Be right there…" Cordelia was hesitant, she didn't want to leave Doyle, but it'd be only for a minute or so. She went to see what Harry wanted. "Yea?" she asked when she came up to Harry.

"Well…is he ok?" Harry asked.

"I don't know; he's just going on about some how he just wanted to try a different beer brand. But the way he looked at me…it was like I wasn't even there."

"Different brand of beer? That's funny the only time he changed the brand of beer, that I know of, was the night I left him…o no!" Harry and Cordelia looked at each other with fear on their face before running to the kitchen. They found Doyle still sitting at the table, "You should try to get him out of the memory or whatever, if he starts talking to "me" then I'll try to say my parts of the conversation the best I can so you know what's going on." Harry said, Cordelia nodded and walked over to Doyle.

"Doyle? Doyle you need to stop this before it starts ok? Just look at me and talk to me, come on Doyle say something! Doyle! Doyle please!" Cordelia tried to get him to talk to her but he just wouldn't listen. Suddenly Doyle looked up at the wall as if somebody just walked into the kitchen through it.

"I just came in," Harry said, " 'Francis, good to see your home for once.' "

"What do you mean? I'm always home." Doyle said as if him and Harry were having a real conversation.

" ' Yeah a bit too much, Francis you have to get out more, and not to bars! This is a great opportunity…"

"God Harry if I hear you say it's a great opportunity one more time I'll…!"

" 'You'll what? Hurt me? You've already done that enough Francis all you do is sit around and drink! God you're probably drunk now, I can't even tell the difference! This isn't you, Francis, it isn't you!" Even Harry was speaking the words as if she were having a normal conversation; Cordelia could tell that she had been almost yelling in the past.

Doyle mumbled something incoherently.

" 'You know what Francis? I can't take this anymore! I…I'm gonna go away for a while, to my mom's maybe…' " Harry marched out of the room as Doyle looked up in shock.

"Now wait a minute!" he called after Harry, getting up to follow her. He tripped over the chair and struggled to get up. Cordelia quickly followed where Harry had gone before Doyle had gotten up. "Harry!" she heard Doyle call. Cordelia found Harry in the living room.

"Cordelia…when I walk out that door, which I'm going to, then I'm not gonna come back for a bit, ok?" Harry said.

Cordelia nodded, "Of course, I know this much be hard for you…" Cordelia didn't finish talking, Doyle came in and she quickly moved out of the way.

"Now Harry listen to me, there's no need to go to your mother…"

" 'I think there is Francis…I can't handle this anymore' " she moved away, it looked to Cordelia as if she was packing an invisible suitcase. She pretended to slam shut the suitcase and marched out of the room. She came back through the other door as Doyle followed her out the first one; Harry started walking towards the door.

"Now come on Harry, listen to me." Doyle said.

"No! Francis, you've had your chance I'm leaving now." Harry said. Doyle grabbed her arm and swung her around.

"Harry…!" But before he could finish Harry slapped him, Cordelia watched as Harry's hand moved to Doyle's cheek, staying only inches above it so she wouldn't really hurt him. Doyle looked at Harry in shock as she turned around and walked toward the door. "God damn it Harry!" Doyle yelled, he threw his beer bottle at the wall near the door, Harry jumped as it shattered. "I'm your husband and I say you stay here!"

Harry slowly turned around and looked at Doyle in fear. "No, Francis." She said trying to keep her voice level, "I'm not staying here…goodbye." She had real tears in her eyes, and Cordelia realized that this had to have been one of the worst experiences ever. Harry turned around and left, shutting the door softly behind her.

"Harry!" Doyle called, he ran to the door and threw it open. He stood in the doorway and shouted again. "Harry! Come back, Harry!" After a few minutes he turned around and shut the door behind him. He, too, had tears in his eyes. He looked around as if he was lost; he then looked at the remains of the beer bottle by the door. He looked down at his hands; his thoughts were clear to Cordelia, _"What have I done."_ He walked over and started cleaning up the broken glass, trying hard not to cry but it wasn't working. He was steadily sobbing when he cut himself on some glass. "Ow!" he cried and then he transformed into his demon form, instantly he dropped the glass and stared hard at his hands.

"I'm a monster." He whispered. "A damn monster!" he was sobbing uncontrollably and then he started banging his head against the wall, hard. Cordelia could see the holes left by his spikes. She rushed over to calm him down.

"Doyle! Doyle please, please Doyle come on! Come out of this." She cried and her head fell on his chest and she was sobbing now too. "Doyle please, please. Just get though this please, for me. Please." After a few moments Cordelia realized that Doyle was no longer sobbing, instead he was looking down at her in horror. "Doyle?"

"Cordelia? O my God, Cordelia…" he stopped and looked at his hands, he then reached up and touched his face. He was still in demon form. "You…you just saw all that didn't you?" Cordelia nodded. "O God, o God!" he jumped up and pulled the door open, shaking off his demon form.

"Doyle, please! Just stay here and talk to me!" Doyle didn't listen he shut the door and walked away from the house. Cordelia collapsed on the floor in tears.

"Cordelia?" Cordelia's head shot up and she saw that Emma was standing in the doorway, from the look in her eyes Cordelia could tell she had seen, or heard, most of what happened. "Are you ok?"

"Emma I need you to call Angel ok? Tell him Doyle ran off and I'm trying to find him. I have to go now, so can you please just do this for me?" Cordelia asked putting her coat on. Emma nodded and Cordelia walked out the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Angel left immediately when Emma told him what had happened. When he got to Cordelia's apartment he found Harry pacing around the room. "I don't know where Cordeila went! She just left the house after Doyle and she hasn't called or anything! Angel I'm sorry I'm so sorry…" Harry broke down crying and Angel walked her over to the couch.

"Shhh, it's ok Harry. You're just a little stressed, now what happened, Emma didn't really explain very well." Angel listened intently as Harry explained it all.

Cordelia walked around downtown not knowing what to do, she'd been everywhere that she could think of that Doyle might go to. Bars had been the first place, then his old apartment, and the old office building. _"Where could he be!?" _she thought, and once she had thought about it for a little longer it came to her and she hurried off.

Angel now was the one pacing around he could think of where to go, he couldn't think of who he needed to find first. Doyle probably, he was more likely to get in trouble. How would he know where Doyle might go now, old hangouts? But Angel didn't know all of them, unless…Doyle's journals, they might be some help. Angel went into Doyle's room and found them surprisingly fast. He flipped though the older ones until he came to the newest one, he was surprised to find that Doyle had started writing in them again. A particular entry caught his eyes.

It read:

_I think I'll go back there sometime, that old dock where I…had my last memories of earth. Don't know when I'll get around to it though. Cordelia seems really worried about me, same with Angel. And it's not like before; there are other people here now. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'd always known more people would come, I just figured I meet them around the same time as everyone else. Except that Wesley guy, apparently he was in Sunnydale while Cordelia was there. Those old docks though, I think I'll go back sometime, maybe sometime I'll go and visit all the old places too._

"Right," Angel said, "the docks."

Doyle walked slowly, memories flashing before his eyes. One of the better ones was when Cordelia told him to ask her out already. He smiled, he'd been so happy the, but it hadn't lasted. His most painful memory wasn't when he'd actually jumped and was being burnt, not that one. It was the one when he realized he had to die, that it couldn't be Angel. That Angel had to stay to save the world again and again, and that he couldn't be there to help. That he'd never get that date with Cordelia, how he'd never know if she could ever really love him. That he'd have to stop seeing them every day, that he'd stop existing. The memories made him cry, he had wanted to then too, in that split second that he realized it all. But he had stayed strong for Cordelia and Angel, to show that he wasn't afraid, but he had been. He then thought of the actually dieing, the pain, and the darkness. He fell to his knees crying.

Cordelia thought she heard crying, she was sure of it. She rounded a corner to see Doyle, mere feet from where the boat had been, from where he had died. She ran over to him and put her arm around him. "Doyle? Doyle, shh shh, it's ok. Doyle, its ok, everything will be alright."

"Cordelia, I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I haven't been trying; I haven't wanted to get over this. I'm sorry I'm sorry." Doyle sobbed into her arms.

"Doyle it's fine, ok? It's all going to be all right. You can still get over all this, get past it." Cordelia tried to get him to get up, "Come on Doyle, let's go."

But Doyle wouldn't move, "Cordelia, why am I back here? Why does it seem like I shouldn't be. Before I died all's I could think is how I wanted to stay here but it doesn't seem right now. Why? Why can't I fit?"

"Doyle, you do fit. You'll always fit. You wanted to stay here right? To be here and live your life? Well now you have a chance to, and you need to take the change." Cordelia got him on his feet, "Ok? Take that chance; I couldn't bear it if you left me again, so you got to stay. Promise me you'll stay." Cordelia had tears in her eyes by this time.

Doyle looked into her eyes, "I promise princess, I promise." He drew her into a tight embrace, and that's where they were when Angel came around the corner. Doyle looked up, he saw Angel and let go of Cordelia. She turned to face Angel, they both kept one arm around each other.

"Everything ok?" Angel asked. They both nodded. "Ok then, while don't we go back to Cordelia's apartment?" They nodded again. When they got back they found Harry gone. Doyle and Angel talked and then Cordelia brought out some coffee. They stayed up and talked for hours. In the morning everyone else came over and they talked some more. This time Doyle was more open to them being there and they spent the whole day together, it wasn't until close to mid-night that they all left Cordelia and Doyle so they could get some sleep.

"Hey, Cordelia?" Doyle asked, he was sitting in a chair and Cordelia had gotten up to get ready for bed.

She turned around, "Yea Doyle?"

"Well I just want to," Doyle stood up and walked over to her, he took her hands in his. "Just want to say thanks, for all you've done for me. Taking care of me and all. I just want you to know that I'm going to make it easier on you for now on."

Cordelia put her hand on Doyle's check, "Doyle don't worry about it, there's no one else in the world that I would trust to take care of you. I'd do it the exact same way if I had to do it again."

"They _exact_ same way?" Doyle asked, a hint of disbelief in his voice.

"Well maybe not the _exact_ same way but pretty close." She smiled and Doyle gave a small laugh. He put his hand on her hand that was on his check.

"You the best Cordelia you know that?" he whispered. He leaned in close and kissed her softly on the lips. When he drew back Cordelia smiled.

"I'm not sure if I'm the best Doyle, you're giving me a run for my money." And she leaned in and returned his kiss.


	12. Epilogue

Prologue

It was three months since that night at the boat docks, and they had flown by. A small crowd of people came out of Wolfram and Hart. They had been celebrating; Gunn was going to college. They walked him over to a car.

"Good luck, don't forget to call." Wesley said.

"Man you sound like my old man." Gunn laughed, he shook Wesley's hand and pulled him into a hug.

"We'll miss you!" Fred said, and she gave Gunn a hug too.

"See ya, and really don't forget to call. I don't care how much I sound like your mom!" Cordelia said giving Gunn a hug.

Doyle walked up to Gunn with his hands in his pockets. They hadn't known each other very long so Doyle felt a little out of place. "Congrats man, good luck." He stuck out a hand and Gunn took it before pulling him into a hug too.

Angel came up last, "I'll see you around. Have any trouble be sure to call ok?"

"Yea sure man." Gunn said; Angel hugged Gunn before he got into the car and it drove off.

Slowly the crowd separated, Cordelia and Doyle walked back to the apartment. Cordelia went into the bathroom to freshen up and Doyle began a weekly game of checkers with Phantom Dennis. When Cordelia came out of the bathroom she stopped and leaned in the doorway watching them. Dennis made a move that finished the game and Doyle sat there trying to figure out how he'd lost. He looked up at Cordelia and smiled.

"I think I need to get some new tricks, Dennis seems to have figured them all out." He said.

Cordelia laughed and Doyle got up and walked over to her, "So how are you Doyle?" she asked.

Doyle put his arms around Cordelia's waist, "What do you mean princess?"

"Are you ok now? Are you, I don't know, well and…" Cordelia said. Doyle put his finger to her lips to stop her from continuing.

"Since when do you worry so much about other people?" He asked with a smile

"I started that a while ago, thanks to those visions you gave me and you don't have to apologize again, its ok, they helped me become a better person." She smiled.

"Well then I can tell you, I honestly have never felt better in my life." Doyle said as he leaned in to give Cordelia a kiss. They walked over to the couch and sat down. They went on to live there lives as normally as possible.


End file.
